Stress...

We all handle it differently. I pride myself in thinking I work well under stress, but how much is too much? I've realized I've been functioning at a high level, an unhealthy high level. I've fooled myself and probably most of you. I love to take my stressors, place them in a box, and stack them in my closet, closing the door. Some stressors are much easier to handle this way others are not. This week (at MTI)I was invited to open up that closet and take an inventory. Yikes! Tuesday I knew, I was still not really doing that - I think the door was locked. Nevertheless, as I went to bed that night, I asked God to show me what I didn't want to face; I wanted to make the most out of this week of debriefing. Through many conversations and some one-on-one conversations, I saw what looked like an overwhelming mess. I felt suffocated - something that's been a re-occurring emotion these past four months. So, here in front of you, I am admitting I have some serious things to work out. The three counseling sessions I had were only able to touch the tip of the iceberg - I will seek more in Las Vegas. That's my first step. Not always an easy thing to admit, but here it is black and white (or whatever color my blog is). I can't ignore this commitment. The people here have been wonderful, both my fellow missionary friends and the staff. It's so nice to hear their stories, and be able to relate. And, even nicer is to be asked my experiences by people who really mean it. This isn't a slam on anyone, just a fact, many people can't relate to what I experienced and that sometimes comes across as if the don't care. I'm leaving here a healthier, happier person, more in tuned to what God wants for me. Yeah!

I wish you could see how gorgeous it is outside, the snow began falling around 9 am this morning, then stopped before lunch. At dinnertime, it resumed falling and has yet to stop. Weather reports say Friday will be a sunny day, and I hope that means the roads will be clear, because I'm a headed home.